My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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