He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
false alarm, still single
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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