I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
