Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
