She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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