my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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