i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
