Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
