She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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