sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
