remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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