I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just got carded by a ten year old.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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