I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize