so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
