no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
