Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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