I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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