Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
