His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
