I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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