No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Mom said you looked used
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
