Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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