Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize