never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
