you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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