saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
did i just pee glitter
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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