I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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