Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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