he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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