oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
