if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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