you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Randomize
