I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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