yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
