Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience