I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
