I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
