I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
