Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
