Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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