Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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