Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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