i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
