Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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