we have officially lost it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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