textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
