I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
