Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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