The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
