So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize