Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My ass is underappreciated
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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