Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
