Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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