I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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