what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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