theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
