Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
