New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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