I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
