is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize