what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
