"it" just moved
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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