my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
