So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
