So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
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is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
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I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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