Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Less talking, more tequila
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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