I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
