so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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