will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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