Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
