Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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