you're like a bully in the Christmas story
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
