fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You were trust falling into bushes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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