Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
