i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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