If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
